“Here, have a Shit Sandwich.” – Feeling all the things.

HOW ARE YOU?!  What are you feeling right now?

[Tired. Hungry. Stressed. Busy.]

Okay, but how are you feeeeeeeeeeling.  Set aside your physical self and dig a little deeper.  How are you really feeling?

[…ummmm…  I don’t think we have that much time.]

I understand.  I don’t have time to answer that question, either.  When someone asks me, “What are you feeling right now,” an honest answer would take an hour.

It’s not that simple of a question. Read More


How to Eat to Live, not Live to Eat – 5 Tips to Eat Without Emotion

Someone once told me, “You binge and starve because you don’t understand food.  Food is fuel, it is not emotional.  You can’t feel food.  Stop making it more than what it is.  Stop making it harder than it needs to be.  Just eat what your body needs and leave the rest.”

My eyebrows shot up to my hairline.  My ears caught fire.  Even now as I write this, I rage.  Outwardly I replied with “….um okay, whatever,” but in my head I was stabbing this person in the neck with a sharp cookie.  “CAN YOU FEEL THE FOOD NOW?!”

I can.  I always can.

Those in the WLR community know the rule.  Weight loss and healthy living are 20% exercise, 80% diet and nutrition.  Pretty simple.  The rule is not based in observation or opinion, but in scientific fact.  No matter how you feel about it, food makes up 80% of your weight loss success or failure.

No matter how you feel about it.

As a disordered eater, therein lies the struggle.

I can work out.  I lift heavy free weights with the big boys.  I am happy to play pickup games in the gym all day long, ride a bike, crank a jagged rock face.  I can work and sweat until Niagara Falls runs off my face, darkens my shirt, and soaks my underpants.  I can run lines, run intervals, use the stair mill until I can’t lift my feet off the floor.  I grew up doing farm work – cross fit and the content of Spartan races are what we called “weekend chores.”

Working out is easy.

Eating right is hard.Read More


Emotional Control – Growing the Heart of a Lion

When I was a kid, whenever I would get upset about stuff at school, whenever I would say “so-and-so is mean” or “Sister is being a butthead,” my dad always replied in the same way.

“No one can make you feel anything unless you let them.”

I called “bullshit.”

My reaction was the same every time he said it.  “BULLSHIT AND WHATEVER.”

If someone does something shitty, I REACT.  I react hard, and usually I react ANGRY.  Anger is my go-to emotion.  I like angry.  Angry is safe.  Angry is mental jet fuel, and it pushes me past and over all the crap that stands in my way.  To say “no one can make you angry unless you let them” was just crazy talk. I was SURE of it.

except…  I’ve been thinking.  And I think I’ve figured something out, and I think I need to share it with you.

I think that he might be right.
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The Value of Emotional Stability – Being A Robot Suddenly Sounds Appealing

How well do you take criticism?

Don’t feel bad if you don’t take it well.  I don’t know many people that do, and in my life I’ve met a lot, lot, lot of people.  It sucks to be told you’ve made a mistake, and it sucks even more to be told you’re wrong.

To make you feel better, I will tell you something about myself.

I am hands down one of the worst criticism-takers in the history of the world.

[Insert here loud guffaws from my family and friends.  “YA THINK?!”  Also add head shakes, deep sighs, and eye rolls from any man that I’ve ever spent more than five minutes with.  Criticism from men is an extra bad no-no.]
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