active listening Archives

How well do you take criticism?

Don’t feel bad if you don’t take it well. I don’t know many people that do, and in my life I’ve met a lot, lot, lot of people. It sucks to be told you’ve made a mistake, and it sucks even more to be told you’re wrong.

To make you feel better, I will tell you something about myself.

I am hands down one of the worst criticism-takers in the history of the world.

[Insert here loud guffaws from my family and friends. “YA THINK?!” Also add head shakes, deep sighs, and eye rolls from any man that I’ve ever spent more than five minutes with. Criticism from men is an extra bad no-no.]
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active listening emotional intelligence

19
Mar

“What did you just say to me?!” – Hear What They Mean, Not What You Think

Topic / parenting and leadership

My dad used to tell me, “You have two ears and one mouth, use them in that proportion.” I would always roll my eyes and get irritated when he pulled out that little gem, usually because he’d slap it on me when I was mid-sentence (and probably not doing a very good job listening). It was a gem, though, and as much as it pains me to tell him “FINE, YOU WERE RIGHT,” he was totally right.

Listening is VITAL.

And not just “hearing.” Hearing is a passive thing. LISTENING is something else entirely.

The third aspect of Active Listening is understanding what the speaker is saying, both what they are actually saying and what they are meaning to say (because those two things are often different).

For example. [You had to see this coming. The best way to learn is to hear a story about how someone else screwed it up, and as luck would have it I am a FIELD EXPERT in “screw up.” So here ya go.]

I really, really don’t like the word “comfortable.”
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21
Feb

How to Listen to Annoying Kids – Listening Through The Noise

Topic / parenting and leadership

listen (v):

1. to give attention with the ear
2. to pay attention, to heed
3. to wait attentively for a sound
4. to convey a particular impression to the one hearing

As a Grower of People, this definition makes me laugh.

If you’re not sure what the difference is between hearing and listening, you are cordially invited to my house for dinner. You’ll pull up a chair, we’ll all dig in, then I’ll bring up the topic of “passing gas” with the four year old. Give the conversation three minutes to gather steam, then try to change the subject.

Unless you come prepared with a live monkey for a prop, I can guarantee you MIGHT be heard, but you will for sure not be listened to.
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active listening communication leadership management parenting

06
Feb