How to Save Your Marriage – Five Ways to Show Respect

respect others, respect yourself

Hi. My name is Erin, and I am divorced.

Divorce isn’t all that surprising these days (sad), but the frequency with which it happens does not diminish it of drama.

When I hear people say “I’m divorced, we’re getting divorced,” my gut reaction is to ask (with all the drama of a girly, middle-school-tragedy-queen from Orange County), “Gaassssp…. OMG WHY?  What happened?  Did he cheat?  Did you cheat?  Give me the deets!”

We love drama, especially drama that isn’t ours, so today I’ll give you some of mine.  (grab some popcorn!)

In the beginning, our relationship was pretty great.  We got along.  We laughed and enjoyed one another’s company.  We liked the same kind of things, spent time with the same kind of people, had the same kind of dreams.

About a year and a half into our marriage, things changed.Read More


Foreign Currency – How to Get Your Point Across to Someone Who Doesn’t Understand

Have you ever had a really bad boss?

I’m sure that if we all sat down and compared notes we could come up with some great stories.  Bad bosses are what movies are made of.  We love to hate them, and we all relate because we’ve all been there.  We’ve all had at least one.

My “bad boss” story is actually rather boring.  Her name was Karen.*  She wasn’t BAD, per say, we just didn’t get along.  She was good at her actual job, I think… she must have been, since she was promoted regularly and earned routine bonuses.  Still, though, she was not a good boss for ME.

…and if we’re honest, that’s how it is, right?  Conflict is not just about that one person you have it with, it’s about the dynamic between TWO.  Both of you.  A bad relationship isn’t just about one person, it’s about two people.  My mom always used to say “It takes two to tango,” and she was right.

And Karen and I tangoed.  A lot.  Over the course of several years we had a couple big blowouts, some of them epic in tone and size.

One specific confrontation in particular comes to mind, a confrontation for which the mere memory makes steam roll out my ears.
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The Human Currencies

This list of Human Currencies explains some of the most valued character traits among people.  While this list is not exhaustive, it is quite encompassing and covers most traits that are felt by most people.

To learn why these traits matter, and to figure out how to use them, read here.

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How to Listen to Annoying Kids – Listening Through The Noise

listen (v):

1. to give attention with the ear
2. to pay attention, to heed
3. to wait attentively for a sound
4. to convey a particular impression to the one hearing

As a Grower of People, this definition makes me laugh.

If you’re not sure what the difference is between hearing and listening, you are cordially invited to my house for dinner. You’ll pull up a chair, we’ll all dig in, then I’ll bring up the topic of “passing gas” with the four year old. Give the conversation three minutes to gather steam, then try to change the subject.

Unless you come prepared with a live monkey for a prop, I can guarantee you MIGHT be heard, but you will for sure not be listened to.
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How to Pay Attention – Be Heard and Learn to Hear

Do you know how to listen?

I’m not always great at listening. As a mother, I have mastered the art of selective hearing, which in turn makes it really, really hard to listen.

If you have kids, you know what I mean.
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