23
Feb

How to Set Weight Loss Goals You’ll Actually Hit – No More Crash Diets

Topic / disordered eating, The Body Image Project

In my life, I have set goals no less than one hundred thousand times.

That sounds like an exaggeration, but I’m not kidding.  One hundred thousand times.  At least 33 years, times 365 days, times 10 goals a day.  That’s at least 122,275 goals in my life.  (and yes, i did the math. i heart math.)

I was born a chronic overachiever perfectionist.  And, like most overachiever perfectionists, goal setting is in my nature.  I set goals for EVERYTHING.  How much I’m going to eat, and by when.  How much I’m going to weigh, and by when.  How many workouts this week, and how much weight for each exercise.  How many books I’ll read this month, and what kind of books, and how many words.  What classes I’ll be able to take.  What grades I’ll get in those classes.  What time I’ll get to bed.  When I’ll get up.  What time the kids will do which things.  What I’ll do for a job next year, and how much I’ll make, and when I’ll get my next promotion, and what tasks I’ll complete by when in order to get it.

For most (normal, not control freak, not obsessive) people, that probably sounds exhausting.

To be honest, sometimes even for me it IS exhausting, but it’s what I do.  I love goals.  I live for and through my goals.
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05
Feb

How to Love Your Body – See it Inside Out

Topic / mental health, The Body Image Project

Imagine that your life is a road.

Whether long and winding or short and straight, your life is a road, complete with switchbacks, pit stops, mountains, bridges, crossroads, trial, trouble, and adventure.

On this road, to get from here to the end, you are given one car.  Just one, and you must drive.  You cannot walk, and you don’t get to pick the car you get.  Make, model, color, size, quality, seating capacity, cupholders.  You get what is decided for you.

You set out on your journey, face forward, peering intently through the windshield.  You are excited!  The road of life is good.  Your soul is full of hope and promise, “because ROAD TRIP,” and your heart leaps at every single magnificent view as you pass it by.  You see amazing things, you feel amazing things, you overcome obstacles in the road in an amazing way.

At the beginning of your journey and well into the middle, your car is like-new and reliable.  It turns when you tell it to turn, when your feet reflect the speed of your heart and push the pedal down, the car speeds up and slows down as you’d expect.  You sometimes have a few hiccups because of required maintenance, but the car gives back to you what you put into it.  When you take care of the car, it takes care of you.

And so you drive.
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29
Apr

Saying Goodbye to Bulimia, FOR REALS – Owning Your Body

Topic / disordered eating, The Body Image Project

Okay guys, here we go.

(This is Mace, by the way.  He’s my trusty sidekick.)  :)

mace is the best support ever.

mace is the best support ever.

I’m embarrassed to post this picture. I’m ashamed to post it. Not because I’m ashamed of how I look, but because I feel like I’m letting all of you down.

I’m so, so sorry.  I’m sorry that this is what I look like.  After nine months on the program, I’m sorry that my physical self does not represent my progress.  I feel like I need to confess, ask for forgiveness, and repent.
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18
Aug

How to Love Your Body Even Though Change is Slow

Topic / The Body Image Project

Progress might not be what you think it is.

In our heads we have a WAY things are supposed to go.  I do, anyways.  It’s what I do.  I have plans, and ideas, and dreams.  And MORE plans.  I have plans that are stuck so far down inside my brain folds that I don’t even know they’re there until they don’t happen, and then I get angry, and I usually don’t know why. (Ask The Mister, he has to put up with my didn’t-actually-make-a-plan-that-fell-through temper tantrums OFTEN.)

These progress pictures are kind of like THAT.
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12
Jul

How To Be A Girl – Learning to Accept My Gender Reality

Topic / mental health, The Body Image Project

I am my father’s first born son.

Not kidding.

Before you exit this post and look for a photo of me, I’ll confirm for you that YES, I am female.  That does not change what I said, though.  I am my father’s first born son.

Now don’t get me wrong.  When I say “I’m the first born son” I don’t mean in a lesbian-y, gender-identity-crisis, or “I have dangly man bits” kind of way.  I mean it in every other possible way.  I exist in a female body, but I am a masculine energy, raised by male methods, taught to think in a gender-neutral-but-mostly-masculine way.

And wow.  That has really been an obstacle to overcome.
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18
Jun

Owning My Body – No More Hiding

Topic / mental health, The Body Image Project

Well, it’s time.

I’ve been putting it off, finding reasons (excuses), staying busy, and telling myself that it doesn’t matter “no one will care anyways,” but it’s time.  It’s time to post a picture of ME.

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH…

For as long as I can remember I’ve hated to have my picture taken.  Toward the end of any party or family gathering I would get antsy and flighty because I knew what was coming.

Dad:  “HEY, gather everyone up and go stand over there so I can take your picture.”  (Please notice that was a command, not a question.)

Having been born into a family with a photography-as-a-hobby father and a Japanese mother (the “oooh, tay-koo peeek-cha?” stereotype of Japanese tourists is totally accurate), I had my picture taken a lot.  I had my picture taken WAY more than I was comfortable with.  In fact, I have had my picture taken no less than 1000 times and I hated it every single time.

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