fault Archives - DepthDepth

When I was a kid, I was raised with pretty simple ideals.

Be polite. Be real. Focus only on things that make you better, things that expand your mind, and things that are a good use of your time. Tell the truth. Be kind. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Do what you say you’re going to do, even when it’s hard, even when no one is watching. Fulfill your commitments. Be on time. Watch your words, for the words you speak decide for others who you are. Be responsible for yourself. Pick up your own mess. Dress in a way that exemplifies your character. Leave everything better than how you found it. Stand up for yourself. Stand up for others. Life is 10% what happens and 90% how we react to it. Choose a positive attitude. Treat others with love, grace, and respect, no matter what.

SIMPLE. Good. All good things. All good ideas, all good beliefs. If I were to read you these ideals one at a time, I doubt you’d have a problem with any of them. These are the kinds of things we raise our kids to believe, the personality and character traits we hope others see in us. When I die, I want people to say I did all these things.

Except now, it seems to me that life and relationships are getting way more complicated.

As dumb as it is, these simple ideals all have caveats. Conditionals. Every single one of them has an “except” added to it.
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When I lived in South Africa, the one thing I was told over and over by the natives was “Don’t travel after dark.” I said “okay,” and I really did try my best to accommodate that recommendation. Errands, particularly those that required a vehicle, were done in the morning or afternoon.

One day an out-of-town visit for some of the fellow missionaries and myself took longer than expected, and we were late getting back. The road that led to the very rural town we were staying in meandered through sugarcane fields, and there were no street lights. For the most part, there was no electricity of ANY kind where we were staying. (Living without a fridge was a new experience!)

Night fell. Soon the headlights of the car were the only lights to be seen for miles around. Sugarcane loomed on each side, growing right up to the edge of the narrow, two lane road.

Suddenly and almost out of nowhere, there appeared a very large tree trunk in the road. It was lying perpendicular to oncoming traffic and completely blocked the lane we were driving in. We swerved the car to avoid it, but in the OTHER lane there was a small wall of boulders stacked to block traffic. It was close – the sidewall of the tires scraped the edge of the rocks on one side – but we managed to navigate through.
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How To Make It Never Your Fault – The Rule of Accountability

Topic / mental health

The Illusion of Safety and Avoidance of Fear

Topic / mental health

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