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ABOUT

photo courtesy of Kira Baron Photography

yes, it really is purple.

My name is Erin, and I am no longer lost.

Before you think I sound braggy or self-inflating, I’ll be honest:  the journey was not pretty.  It was not without its pitfalls.  And messes, and god-awful accidents, of both the foot-in-mouth and potty-type variety.  It has been a journey of trial and (mostly) error, like a road trip with the rudest, smelliest, pit-stainy-est people you can think of, crammed into a tiny vehicle after an all-you-can-eat Cajun food festival, without any windows down and zero chance for bathroom breaks.  “Next Rest Stop – 3582 miles.”  UNCOMFORTABLE.  Sad.  Gross.  Pungent and thick, and progress so slow you’d think the earth itself had stopped turning.

That was my journey to finding myself, but I MADE IT.   As ugly as it got, I stuck it out.  I fought and cried and clawed, searched and accepted and found, and I am no longer lost.

For as long as I can remember I have struggled to escape the circumstances of my life.  I have battled sexual assault, molestation, physical abuse, mental abuse.  I struggled on the reg with bulimia, anorexia, depression, addiction, and body dysmorphia.  I have hated myself, berated myself, and cut myself to pieces, treating myself in ways I’d never treat another human being, not even my worst enemy.  I have felt unloved, unworthy, disgusting, disposable.  For the longest time I believed myself to be a living mistake, like a cosmic joke played by God on the Universe.  “Haha, look at what I did with THAT one.”

I was so wrong.

If you have ever felt that way, YOU are wrong.

We are not worthless.  We are amazing creatures, unique and specific, treasures to those around us and the Universe that houses us.  We just have to believe it.

And most of us DON’T believe it.

As I started to find my footing and discover my worth, I realized that there are basic skills to mastering mental health, emotional intelligence, leadership, parenting, and business management, and those skills are all-encompassing.  No matter how you use them, the skills required to do any of those things are the same.

I thought about how many people could benefit from knowing what I know, and “how can I teach others what I’ve learned?,” but I discovered quickly that although people want to escape their own mental prisons, they do not want to address the self-imposed locks and cages that keep them there.  We are our own Gatekeepers, we are the Keymakers, and yet we are locked inside because we refuse to accept the truth.

The truth is, no matter where we are, we put ourselves there.  We are responsible for our own lives.  We are responsible for all of the perceived failures, we are responsible for the successes.  JUST US.  Each of us on our own is solely responsible for the outcome of our lives, but instead of taking the reigns and steering our ship, we’d rather turn over the vessel to someone else, ANYONE ELSE, so we can blame someone else when our ship does not reach the desired destination.  We’d rather demand of others what we fail to give ourselves, and entitle ourselves to what we are completely capable of providing on our own, so that when it goes wrong, we are blameless.  We don’t like being responsible, and we don’t like being held accountable to our own lives. We fight and fight to get away from ourselves, we fight to be someone else, we pay to vacation away from the reality we’ve created for ourselves, we worry and fret over what we are NOT, instead of owning everything we are and everything we’re meant to be.

Owning our own lives is THE ANSWER.  It is the ONLY answer, and I can help you find it.  The tools I’ve found and the skills I’ve acquired guided me out of the dark, and they can guide you, too.

You just have to want it, even though you DON’T want it.

I ask myself the question, how do you teach someone something that they need to know to be set free, when their shackles prevent them from learning in the first place?

The answer?  Depth.

The concept of Depth was formed out of necessity, in order to provide others with what I have learned.  Depth is changing others by changing ourselves.  It is creating a strong connection between you and the person you seek to influence, creating leverage to effectively deliver information and encourage change.  It is a mother connected so deeply to her child, the child grows to be independent and strong.  It is a boss so respected by his employees they commit their lives to his cause.  Depth is at the foundation of any life-long friendship, all passionate love stories, and every 50-year anniversary.  It creates great businesses out of good ones, identifies shepherds from sheep, and ties people together with bonds stronger than blood. Depth is love, and it is beyond love.  It is bond, The Red Thread, and the best parts of Destiny.  It is exactly what you are meant to be, the deepest part of your soul, and the purest form of yourself.

Join me here and let me help you find it.  It will literally change your world, as it has changed mine.

 

Always Digging Deep,

sig

Latest Depth Work

How to Recover from Addiction - 4 Truths that will Change Your Life

Not too long ago, a Facebook post by James Fell ran through my newsfeed.  (If you don’t follow him, you should.  He’s pretty great.) Here’s what he had to say. The comments were, as you could probably guess, reactive. Some were even explosive. “HOW DARE YOU SAY I’M NOT ADDICTED, I AM TOTALLY ADDICTED, I CAN’T HELP MYSELF WITH SUGAR AND WHEN I TRY TO QUIT I CAN’T QUIT.” The conversation that ensued was informative. (And I’ll be honest, a little entertaining… Facebook fights are always.) Doctors and nurses that specialize in drug addiction recovery compared sugar withdrawal to coming clean from heroin, saying “they are not ...

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Addicted to Love - When People are Your Fix

If you’re anything like me, I had heard the term “codependent” hundreds of times. Whenever I'd hear that word, I'd picture two people who neeeeeeeeeeed each other, like a pair of mutually parasitic leeches sucking the life out of one another, “plus drama.” Thelma and Louise, driving off a cliff. [how powerful and profound.  i almost forget they're driving off to kill themselves.] Romeo and Juliet, as she stabbed herself while clinging to his lifeless body. Two weak, whiney, teenage kids making sad, crying suckface with each other, covered in emo makeup, grasping black fingernailed hands. “I can’t live without you, I LOVE YOU SO HARD that ...

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Fix your Habit - 5 Tips to Hold Back a Binge

It’s allergy season. I live in the sagebrush dotted hills of Yakima Valley in Eastern Washington State.  ‘Having allergies’ is no small thing. We are a city of farms and crops and flowers and trees, so pollen.  We’re practically a desert, if it weren’t for irrigation, so dust.  Also animals, “because farms,” so dander.  Once the scorching summer sun comes out in full force the weeds take off like wildfire, which means more pollen.  The ragweed kind. omg allergies. To be fair, I don’t suffer as bad as some, but in my old(er) age (wtf total bs) I have developed a Goliath histamine response.  ...

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How to Save Your Marriage - Five Ways to Show Respect

Hi. My name is Erin, and I am divorced. Divorce isn't all that surprising these days (sad), but the frequency with which it happens does not diminish it of drama. When I hear people say "I'm divorced, we're getting divorced," my gut reaction is to ask (with all the drama of a girly, middle-school-tragedy-queen from Orange County), "Gaassssp.... OMG WHY?  What happened?  Did he cheat?  Did you cheat?  Give me the deets!" We love drama, especially drama that isn't ours, so today I'll give you some of mine.  (grab some popcorn!) In the beginning, our relationship was pretty great.  We got along.  We laughed ...

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"wait and do the dishes later" is a form of self-care, too, I've decided.

How to Love Yourself - Five Selfcare Tips for the Busy Mom

Self-Care and the "No Time for Bullshit" Mom - How to Love Yourself, Practically A couple of years ago, I was invited to attend an “Entrepreneurial Women in Leadership” luncheon. If I can help it, I avoid gender specific events.  I prefer to attend functions based on the content, not the attendees, and I have zero effs to give as to the male-female mix of a room. Because the invitation to the luncheon triggered an eye roll, I accepted it.  Usually the stuff that makes me irritated, angry, or upset is the stuff I should be focusing on.  I want to be better, ...

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